This is FTN
Feeding Tube News. You give me 22 minutes, and I'll give you the Feeding Tube world.
With all of the Feeding Tube News, here's your anchor, Thomas Shea.
Thank you, um...me. Where to begin? At the top. Pope John Paul II was outfitted this week with a feeding tube located in his nostril, due to his body's lack of ability to keep food down. The Pope's health took a turn for the worse before Vatican officials realized that this Pope eats food through his mouth. At this hour, the Pontiff clings to life.
The man won't give up.
In other unusually large Feeding Tube News, the shell of the woman that was once Terry Schiavo was finally allowed to slip from this existance, 13 days after doctors removed her feeding tube per court orders. Tom DeLay has allegedly asked the Texas National Guard to arrest and detain for questioning God. DeLay is reportedly angered by God's "jumping the gun," to use a beloved Texas phrase. God claimed Schiavo's immortal soul, preventing DeLay, who is ammoral, from fomenting any appearance of morality that might arise from his stance regarding Shiavo. Most Americans are profoundly offended by DeLay's actions; his followers passionately defend him.
In case there is EVER a question, I want everyone to know the following: if a cat scan of my brain ever resembles the cat scan of Terry Schivo's brain, please kill me. I will be no better than a Venus Flytrap. Use morphine, or a bullet.
Does this count as a living will?
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING FTN!
With all of the Feeding Tube News, here's your anchor, Thomas Shea.
Thank you, um...me. Where to begin? At the top. Pope John Paul II was outfitted this week with a feeding tube located in his nostril, due to his body's lack of ability to keep food down. The Pope's health took a turn for the worse before Vatican officials realized that this Pope eats food through his mouth. At this hour, the Pontiff clings to life.
The man won't give up.
In other unusually large Feeding Tube News, the shell of the woman that was once Terry Schiavo was finally allowed to slip from this existance, 13 days after doctors removed her feeding tube per court orders. Tom DeLay has allegedly asked the Texas National Guard to arrest and detain for questioning God. DeLay is reportedly angered by God's "jumping the gun," to use a beloved Texas phrase. God claimed Schiavo's immortal soul, preventing DeLay, who is ammoral, from fomenting any appearance of morality that might arise from his stance regarding Shiavo. Most Americans are profoundly offended by DeLay's actions; his followers passionately defend him.
In case there is EVER a question, I want everyone to know the following: if a cat scan of my brain ever resembles the cat scan of Terry Schivo's brain, please kill me. I will be no better than a Venus Flytrap. Use morphine, or a bullet.
Does this count as a living will?
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING FTN!
posted by TRS at 4/01/2005 07:43:00 PM
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